Jonny Numb

I suppose the inspirational spin would be to call it “challenging” and “worth the struggle” and go on about what I’ve learned as I approach the half-year mark of 2026.

But it’s been a bumpy ride over sharp rocks.

Check out this post for a recap.

While things aren’t perfect – are they ever? – they have improved.

I took some proactive measures with my mental health, and am now on several supplements, in addition to a new medication that has improved my constitution considerably from the frightening, festering limbo it was in from January through March.

Things aren’t perfect, but are they ever?

Something extremely helpful, and something I am extremely grateful for: people who are willing to listen to me spill my guts over my struggles and not be judgmental in their advice. If you have one person like this in your life, you’re blessed – if you have several, you’re in the company of Saints.

You all know who you are; thank you for Being You.

While the medication/supplement regimen has pushed my negative fixations aside, they still lie in wait…but I’m attempting to live without them.

My therapist told me I was “channeling my inner explorer” when I told her I was filling up my lunch hour with walks around various neighborhoods (when working from home) and unfamiliar sections of Harrisburg (when working at the office).

I get bored easily, and feel like walking the same routes – with the same scenery and the same people – can become a drag.

I want to mix it up a little, and see things I haven’t seen before.

I like looking at the houses in unfamiliar neighborhoods, and glancing at windows to see if there’s a cat on guard duty (or plum passed out).

I sometimes wonder how the people who live in big houses afford all the associated expenses, and simply assume they have multiple incomes or someone just has a job that pays extremely well.

While in Harrisburg on in-office days, I used to do a loop of the Capitol Complex, with main drag Forster Street (which I wish was named after late character actor Robert Forster, but alas) being the dividing line between downtown and midtown.

A lot of scared mice are afraid to walk beyond the parameters of the building they are confined to for 7.5 hours a day, lest they be accosted by a homeless person panhandling for change.

Even with the sun blazing and the humidity soupy – even if it’s overcast and raining – I make a point to get outside and walk around.

Lately, my inner explorer has disregarded the arbitrary dividing line of Forster Street and ventured into Midtown, perusing the Midtown Scholar Bookstore and passing by the Broad Street Market (slowly being restored after a fire several years back).

Just walking to the Midtown Scholar felt taxing at one time; now it’s easy.

In my mind, I keep telling myself: I want to go further.

If time were no object (and I had a canteen of ice water), I could imagine myself wandering around for hours, taking photos of structural abnormalities and aesthetic uniquities among the tenements.

On my most recent lunchtime constitutional, I made it to Old Uptown before my watch indicated I probably wouldn’t make it back to the office before 1.

I’ve taken to walking down side streets and using unfamiliar routes just to see where they lead.

As a driver, there are a couple of streets in Harrisburg I’m fairly familiar with, but also don’t get to appreciate the nuances of the surroundings except for brief stoplight reprieves.

A majority of the row homes in Midtown appear well-preserved; some burst forth with personality, from outside decoration to flourishing plants to uniquely-painted shutters and doors.

Almost all have some sort of obvious surveillance camera in use.

In my travels, I’ve walked past Midtown Cinema and even the Little Amps location on Green Street. I’ve discovered old buildings converted into apartment complexes that I never knew existed.

In some ways – despite the people who ignore the “curb your dog” signs – there is a lot of beauty to be found in these unlikely nooks and crannies of urban existence (some people even have yards and off-street parking!), and I hope to explore even further in the future.

[all photos by Jonny]