Jonny Numb

Since my buddy Dave K has been working diligently on his forthcoming book of movie reviews and keeping a running tally of what he watches over on his Instagram page, I thought it might be fun to rip off his method and do a “dump” of what I’ve watched and written about so far this year.

To piggyback off my initial post when I embarked on this project, these “exclusive,” never-before-seen, ninth-wonder-of-the-world reviews will be more “bite-size” and hopefully more easily digestible than my usual longform writing. I can be succinct when I want to be!

This approach was influenced by Mick Martin and Marsha Porter’s annual Video Movie Guides, which encompassed thousands of movies because the reviews themselves were A) never more than a few sentences; and B) in small print.

So, while this may be jarring to anybody who’s read my more rambling reviews, just give yourself a moment to acclimate, and you should be fine. (If the jarring persists for more than 6 hours, please contact your physician.)

In any case…here is the list of what I’ve watched and reviewed (and kept mostly secret) so far in 2023.

January:

Arrebato (Rapture) (1979)

Baby Oopsie (2021)

Basic Instinct 2 (2006)

Basket Case 2 (1990)

Basket Case 3: The Progeny (1990)

The Carrier (1989)

Chaos A.D. (2016)

Dead Kids (Strange Behavior) (1981)

The Dead Pit (1989)

Eye in the Labyrinth (L’occhio nel labirinto) (1972)

I Miss You, Hugs and Kisses (1972)

Jeepers Creepers Reborn (2022)

Neon Maniacs (1986)

Old Man (2022)

Panther Squad (1984)

Patrick (1978)

Piranha Women (2022)

Satan Lives: The Rise of the Illuminati Hotties (2022)

Schoolgirls in Chains (1972)

Smile (2022)

Thirst (1979)

February:

Accion Mutante (Mutant Action) (1993)

Amerikan Holocaust (2013)

Attack of the Beast Creatures (1988)

Bodies Bodies Bodies (2022)

Brainjacked (2009)

The Devonsville Terror (1983)

The Evil That Men Do (1984)

Fear in the Night (1972)

Fright (1971)

The Headless Eyes (1971)

Humongous (1982)

Infernal Rapist (1988)

The Last Hunter (1980)

Marquis de Sade’s Justine (1969)

The Night Child (1975)

Psycho IV: The Beginning (1990)

$kumbagz (2015)

Straight On Till Morning (1974)

Sweet Sixteen (1983)

March:

Birdemic 2: The Resurrection (2013)

Birdemic 3: Sea Eagle (2022)

Blind Date (1984)

Blood On Her Name (2019)

Day of the Dead: Bloodline (2017)

Deathblow (2023)

Final Judgement (1992)

The Hills Run Red (2009)

Hundra (1984)

The Last Seduction (1994)

Naughty Dirty Nasty (2014)

Night of the Living Dead: Re-Animation (2012)

The Power (1984)

Primal Rage (1988)

Punisher: War Zone (2008)

A Return to Salem’s Lot (1987)

Savage Attraction (1983)

Seizure (1974)

Stripped to Kill (1987)

Torment (1986)

April:

The Body Snatcher (1945)

Calvaire (The Ordeal) (2004)

Dog Tags (1987)

Dr. Caligari (1989)

Eat Brains Love (2019)

Evil Dead Trap 2: Hideki (1992)

Eyes of Laura Mars (1978)

Faults (2014)

The Flesh Merchant (1993)

Foxhole (2021)

Girl in the Box (2016)

The Hole (2009)

Kill for Me (2013)

Lovers Lane (1999)

M3GAN (2023)

Miracle Valley (2022)

Nightmare (1981)

The Rage (2007)

Shut In (2016)

Violent Midnight (1963)

Voices from Beyond (1994)

May:

10 Rillington Place (1971)

Alien from the Abyss (1989)

Children of the Corn (2020)

Debbie Does Demons (2022)

Extra Terrestrial Visitors (1983)

Frankenstein ’80 (1972)

Get My Gun (2020)

Ghostkeeper (1980)

Hide and Go Shriek (1988)

Joe Vampire (2012)

Julie Darling (1982)

Knock at the Cabin (2023)

Lady Stay Dead (1981)

Malice in Wonderland (2009)

Mission Kill (1985)

The New Mutants (2020)

Programmed to Kill (1987)

Return to House on Haunted Hill (2007)

The Rift (Endless Descent) (1989)

Scream VI (2023)

Short Night of Glass Dolls (1971)

Sorority House Massacre (1986)

The Strangeness (1985)

June:

Aileen Wuornos: American Boogeywoman (2021)

The Amityville Horror (1979)

Bachelor Party (1984)

Backwoods Marcy (1999)

Baxter (1989)

Bloody Hell (2021)

The Boogey Man (1980)

Cut-Throats Nine (1971)

Day of the Dead (2007)

Equalizer 2000 (1986)

The Glass House (1971)

Linnea Quigley’s Horror Workout (1991)

Night of the Executioner (1992)

Night Screams (1987)

Renfield (2023)

Sanctuary (2023)

The Screaming Dead (2003)

Wicked World (1991)

July:

Attack of the 50 Foot Camgirl (2022)

Bio Zombie (1998)

The Blood Beast Terror (1967)

The Dogs (1978)

Frog Pimp (2023)

Graveyard Alive (2003)

Heartland of Darkness (1992)

The Incredible Melting Man (1977)

Killing Spree (1987)

Lady Street Fighter (1981)

Prom Night (2008)

Raw Nerve (1991)