Jonny Numb

Despite my lifelong love of movies, I’ve had few actual incidences of going out to the theater to watch more than one in a single day. Since my teen years, I’ve racked up a bad habit of accumulating so many Blu-rays and DVDs (many “blind buys”) that leaves me in a perpetual state of catch-up, making home viewing much easier and more cost-effective. Outside of independent theaters that program annual marathons, there have only been 4 instances where I’ve taken in more than one theatrical feature over a 24-hour timeframe:

In 2017, I watched the rerelease of Blade Runner and took in its sequel in IMAX.

In 2018, I followed a screening of Blockers with a showing of Chappaquiddick.

In 2021, after the greatest damages of the COVID-19 pandemic had at least subsided, I ventured to my local art-house for a disparate double feature of Zola and Werewolves Within.

My double-feature selections are nothing if not random.

Adulthood mostly consists of keeping appointments, and as such, something like spending a day at the movies comes with its own pesky baggage: coordinating the theater(s), calculating traffic, rolling the dice on return on investment (is it gonna suck or be great?), and whether you’ll get stuck in the same room with a fellow ticket-buyer who refuses to shut up.

All that to say: March 22 marked my fifth instance of strategizing two theatrical features in one day.

First Film:

Ash (11:50am showing @ Regal Harrisburg)

Weekends are the busiest times at theaters, which is why I always hone in on the earliest showings possible – to avoid bumping up against no more human cattle than necessary. I am also persnickety – okay, snobby – about the area theaters I patronize. I’ll gladly pay more or drive further to a location that makes an effort to keep up appearances.

I sat down in time for the last couple trailers (Regal plays 20+ minutes of them at this point), with perhaps one or two other people seated quietly in the tiers behind me. For years, I’ve been in the habit of sitting close to the screen, as it’s easier to block out distractions.

A big component of Ash is its Alien-adjacent imagery and plotting, but it’s a bit unfair to dismiss it as just another in the endless string of rip-offs of Ridley Scott’s seminal sci-fi-horror ripper. In all honesty, it’s more imaginative and fun than Scott’s last two attempts to revive his early masterwork, because it announces itself as pulp from the early moments, as space cadet Riya (Eiza Gonzalez – the “From Dusk Till Dawn” TV series) awakens to find the mutilated, blood-spattered bodies of her fellow astronauts, and the ship in ruins.

Knowing very little outside of the general plotline, I went into Ash with modest expectations. The pleasant surprise was how often said expectations were exceeded – in plotting, performance, and overall execution. Director/scorer Flying Lotus’ other influence appears to be the specific neon lighting schemes of Beyond the Black Rainbow, which transforms the faintly-lit corridors of the space station into subtly menacing avenues of potential harm and death. There’s an amusing robot that diagnoses illnesses/infections and performs impromptu surgeries, but the film is an otherwise bleak and unnerving affair.

Riya has amnesia, but is haunted by distorted images of her fellow crewmen. When fellow mission member Brion (Aaron Paul) shows up, he advocates against finding answers and for self-preservation in the midst of a dwindling oxygen supply. There were a couple possibilities that floated in my head regarding the relationship dynamic between Riya and Brion, and the fate of their fellow crewmen, but writer Jonni Remmler does a decent job of avoiding the overly familiar (and cliche-ridden) options for this sort of tale.

Lotus strategically sets up the first half of Ash with effectively unsettling atmosphere and mood, and ramps up the special effects and gore in the home stretch, smartly concealing some of the visual limitations in dark and shadow. That said, the film traffics in some unexpectedly gnarly imagery that brought back fond memories of 2017’s Life, another pulpy sci-fi programmer that knew what it was, and was all the better for it.

3.5 out of 5 stars

Second Film:

Locked (2:20pm showing @ AMC Classic, Camp Hill)

I left the Regal after Ash‘s mid-credits stinger, hopped on the highway and headed to my next destination. Despite a fair number of cars in the awkward parking lot, the AMC lobby was deserted when I entered. After a quick bathroom break, I purchased my ticket, a bottle of water (Dasani – yuck), and a makeshift lunch of soft pretzel bites. I took a seat in the third row, and I could hear at least two people somewhere behind me. Another “crowd” that would prove to be laid-back.

The shared thread of Ash and Locked is the fact that their premises, budgets, and executions seem to have them destined for back-end success on streaming platforms (Ash even bares the Shudder watermark). Maybe that explains the smaller theaters and crowds, especially in light of whatever crowd-appeasing blockbuster opened this past weekend. After all, B movies that know their status tend to play more forgivably on the small screen.

I liked director David Yarovesky’s previous film, Brightburn, and thought it displayed a confident balance of style and storytelling. While not overly complex, it was well-executed. And while Locked has the type of premise that forces aesthetic creativity – hard-luck loser and deadbeat dad Eddie (Bill Skarsgard, finally out of heavy make-up) finds himself trapped in an elite SUV after letting himself in to rifle through the valuables – it also has to stack itself up against stiff claustrophobic competition like Buried (2010), Brake (2012), and even 2013’s more cerebral Locke.

This conceptual familiarity hinders Yarovesky’s efforts, and the attempts to play the material for dark comedy leads to a confusion of tone. If it’s intended satirically – with Skarsgard’s young punk pitted against Anthony Hopkins’ Old Man Yells At Cloud meme – it doesn’t twist the knife enough; nor does it plumb the sort of fatalistic darkness that would’ve lent Locked a real edge.

Unfortunately, Eddie is given a standard backstory of always being one paycheck away from eviction, leaving his ex and daughter in a state of perpetual low expectation. The superficial manner in which this conflict is presented somehow makes the film seem less than urgent. Meanwhile, the script (by Michael Arlen Ross) uses class struggle as window dressing (with persistent shots of homeless tent communities and graffiti-covered walls) without mustering anything in the way of an actual statement about the eternal tug-of-war between the Haves and Have-Nots.

Really, this is just a barely passable B-movie with Skarsgard trying to shed his typecast skin whilst Hopkins chews the scenery as his overly principled tormentor. All the joybuzzer gags and blood spatter can’t obscure the fact that Locked‘s premise never rises to the level of tension it so desperately needs.

2 out of 5 stars

So…one out of two ain’t bad, I guess?